A lot can be written about prayer.  We can dissect The Lord's Prayer, talk about how often we should pray, whether pre-meal prayers are absolutely necessary, deathbed prayers, etc.  But that's all kind of serious and I'm pretty unqualified to lead those discussions.

What I am qualified to do is point out all the silly and funny things we do while we are praying (or supposed to be praying).

So how many of these can you identify with? (I've done 'em all!)

Prayer Voice
That's right, you know what I'm talking about - it's the phenomenon that occurs when a person prays outloud in a group setting and all of a sudden, after everyone closes their eyes and bows their heads, the voice of the designated prayee changes completely!  I've experienced this with both girls and guys, but usually in both cases, their voice seems to get higher, softer, and gentler.    Additonally, they'll crank up the SAT vocabulary usage and start spewing words they never use regularly! 

It's all, "Oh heavenly and gracious Father, we humbly request that you lavish your bountiful blessings on us this day.  We are but lowly servants, unfit to be presented in your court, and yet you mercifully open the gates of heaven and welcome us as heirs."

Then as soon as we say "Amen," it's back to, "Yo. I'm friggin' hungry, let's eat." (Well, that's something that would come out of my mouth anyway)

Opening Your Eyes
It's universally known that when you pray, you must bow your head in reverence, clasp your hands in humility, and close your eyes in focus.  So why are you opening your eyes, you pagan?!  I'll tell you why - because you get the best view of everything!  Do you know what's going on while you're closing your eyes? The stage at church magically transforms, the lighting dims, and music starts playing out of nowhere.  In small group, you see that dude falling asleep, that other girl looking so not holy enough, and on rare occasion, someone picking a wedgie (or a nose. ew.).  Tee hee.  It feels so naughty and liberating - try it sometime.

Falling Asleep
If you've fallen asleep during prayer time, don't feel bad - the disciples did it too.  And it happens to me all the time.  I once tried to combat this temptation at a retreat by praying on my knees.  It was the perfect combination of discomfort to keep me awake plus holy appearances to keep the pastors happy.  Unfortunately, my legs started getting numb, and then I eventually put my elbows on the floor, rested my head on my arms, and ZzzzZZzzzzz...

But the worst is when you fall asleep, everyone says, "Amen" and you're still snoozing!  Tsk, tsk...

Repeating God's Name Over and Over and Over Again
This has to be my personal favorite - when you pray and say, Father God, Jesus, Lord, and Holy Spirit repeatedly throughout your prayer.  It's like God might forget you're talking to him - or worse, fall asleep! - so you have to keep reminding him to pay attention.  Extra points if you get creative and use fancier names like Redeemer, Glorious One, Jehovah Jireh, etc.  God likes it when you get creative.

Turning the Meal Prayer into a Revival Meeting
And this is my least favorite.  When I was growing up, my family spent a few Thanksgivings with another family from church.  They would open up their home to a bunch of other small families without local relatives and we'd all celebrate together.  I loved it because I got to play with my friends and eat lots of wonderful food.  But every year, without fail, my friend's dad would pray for the Thanksgiving meal. And every year, he would start off praying for the food, then the families, then our church, and our pastor, and the starving people in North Korea, and the future generations of the world, and the unsaved, and the children, and back to our church, and it would go on and on for at least ten minutes!  Now, I know ten minutes of prayer isn't so bad, but it's like a lifetime when you are an impatient 12 year old, smelling and seeing (I opened my eyes back then too) all the Thanksgiving goodness, and starving! 

What's worse is that the entire prayer would be in Korean, so I didn't even understand all of it.  And Korean Christians have this habit of shouting, "AMEN!" together in the middle of prayer if they agree with something (and by the way, how do they know to do it in unison like that? Is there some secret Korean prayer code?), so everytime they said, "AMEN!" I'd get excited that the prayer was finished.  It'd take about 10 Amens-in-unison to get to the final closing one!

Now, I never spend more than 30 seconds on a meal prayer.  Time me!

Ok, just in case people don't get my sarcasm, well... this is ALL sarcastic.  Prayer looks and sounds different to everyone and I think it goes without saying that God listens to anyone who sincerely wants to talk to him, fancy words or not.

So what quirks do you have when it comes to prayer?

As a Christian, I've been taught the various attributes of God and they really seem to run the gamut - loving, just, mighty, gracious, merciful, jealous, gentle, unchanging, fearsome, holy, righteous, wise, sovereign, perfect, et cetera, et cetera.

But as a sometimes stubborn, type-A, self-proclaimed control freak, I often filter God's character and choose to see him in a harsher light.  I tend to believe that God is only righteous and just, and therefore demands perfect obedience all the time with no room for error.  I actually don't mind this view of God - I think he has every right to demand that his people live up to his standards.  However, the reality is that I don't and can't live up to his standards on my own, and that's when I often fail to embrace the loving, gracious, merciful side of God.

This year has been a season of getting to know God in that way, and it's actually been quite difficult for me.  I realize I'm not used to anyone just wholeheartedly wanting to love and bless me.  I'm reminded of Jacob a lot these days, who for all his faults and failures still understood the giving nature of God and never shied from asking God for blessings.

So, how do you view God? Is it ever a bit one-sided because of your personality, upbringing, education, etc?